Joke #5710

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Vote: has 78.91 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
Vote: has 83.88 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve? A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How are men like chocolates? A.They never last long enough B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men