Don’t marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. Cricket
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Two NBA basketball referees were walking through the countryside and they noticed some tracks. The first said, "Deer tracks?" "No," replied the second, "Bear tracks." The conversation ended abruptly when the train hit them.
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
What do golfers use in China? China tees!
I think that it is better to give that to get. You have a very generous thinking. Are you a humanitarian? No, I’m a boxer.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.