C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
The web isn’t better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.