Joke #4024

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: IT

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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: beauty, geek, IT, women
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT, programmer
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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has 82.02 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from? Let Only Users Suffer.
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has 23.63 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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has 83.96 % from 323 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geek, internet, IT, technology
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
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has 81.65 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, IT
A customer comes into the computer store. I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"
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has 78.77 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: computer, customer service, game, IT