C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.
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A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!
Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
- Good monkey, it's worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
"What does this monkey know?"
"It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad."
"Nice, even I don't know those things."
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
"And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?"
"I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
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