C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.
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At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer.
‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’
Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless.
When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times
I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze.
Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?”
Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.