Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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