Joke #3740

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.

Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.

When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.

Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.