Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it.
Dissapointed, he then walked out.
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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