Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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