Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Chuck Norris once made a crippled man run away.
If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.