Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
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