How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
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Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.
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Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
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I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.
He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table.
To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer.
"Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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