Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.