Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.