Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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