Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
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Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie.
It was too short for release.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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