Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.