Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.