Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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