Do you know Chuck Norris? Yes? Then he shall allow you to live... for now.
Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.