Do you know Chuck Norris? Yes? Then he shall allow you to live... for now.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard. They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris? A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.