Joke #3812

Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
Vote: has 26.87 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Vote: has 82.41 % from 165 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, sex, work
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 37.66 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
Vote: has 73.13 % from 235 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Vote: has 78.32 % from 891 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Vote: has 49.54 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Vote: has 52.41 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her. "I still don't get it? Can you show me." Suzy says. "OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw." That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand. The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her. "OK but I don't want Samantha to watch" So Samantha went outside. They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy. "That was fun but I still don't get it." Says Suzy The next day the same thing happened. And the next day. Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying. "Whats wrong," Suzy says. "Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better." Said Samantha. "Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy. When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it. Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately. He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her. "OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed." "Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids, sex, stupid, time
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
Vote: has 71.97 % from 486 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
Vote: has 79.75 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex