Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.
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A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire.
The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."
The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide.
I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."
The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again.
Maybe it will fix the problem."
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
Vote:
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
Vote:
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.
Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears.
The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years.
As a reward you can make a wish."
Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage.
Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East.
This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years.
What I wish for is peace in the Middle East.
The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?"
Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK.
The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes.
I wish you would make everybody love us.
The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."