Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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