Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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