The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.