The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv.
The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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