Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
Chuck Norris decided 50 years of Micheal Jackson was enough