Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
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Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24!
What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."
"What do you call it?"
"We call it a football wedding."
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Why are football stadiums always cool?
"Because they're full of fans."
It's legal to earn money playing hockey
Many people play hockey even after they're married
The puck's always hard
The protective equipment is reusable
It lasts at least an hour
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
You always know how big the stick is
You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
You can change players on the fly
You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
Your parents cheer when you score
Periods last only 20 minutes
You're sure to get it at least twice a week
You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Vote:
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often?
They always hit and run.
On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer."
And it was good.
Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United."
Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.