Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
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Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
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The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight."
The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again."
A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?"
"This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
Two guys are out hunting deer...
The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky."
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind?
There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!"
"Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice.
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
This time pointing behind them.
By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke?
He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman.
And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
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