Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
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Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately.
However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets.
Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?"
His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Vote:
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night:
PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible.
PC2: Why, what did you dream about ?
PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."