Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
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I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online?
Thomas the search engine.
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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