Joke #3972

Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping? The trolley kept falling off the computer.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
Vote: has 74.63 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, IT, medical, money, time
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun? A computer that won’t go down.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT
Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
Vote: has 24.28 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.
Vote: has 82.92 % from 303 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, computer, dad, IT
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dad, IT
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
ChuckNorris.com. Don't go there. It's like the United States of Chuck Norris... No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT