Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
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Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.
Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.
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Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears.
The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years.
As a reward you can make a wish."
Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage.
Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East.
This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years.
What I wish for is peace in the Middle East.
The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?"
Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK.
The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes.
I wish you would make everybody love us.
The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
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A new army computer is put through its paces.
An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’
The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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