I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day.
Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep. 
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
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"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer.
They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down.
The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution.
Suddenly the programmer says:
"I say we better FORMAT it!"
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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