Joke #4966

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.

Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover? A: Your mouse pad.

Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.

Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates, apache inside...

Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.

Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.

Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!