I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day.
Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
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Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
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Only 3 things that are infinite
1.Human Stupidity
2.Universe
3.WinRar Trial
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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