Joke #4966

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: IT

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One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, IT, medical, money, time
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user... Help desk: Double click on "My Computer". Lady: I can't see your computer... Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer. Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?! Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it... Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
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What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?' "The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.
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90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
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C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
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A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: IT
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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has 83.91 % from 398 votes. More jokes about: computer, history, IT, technology
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
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What do computers do when they get hungry? They eat chips!
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