Joke #4966

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: IT

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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’ Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’ Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’ Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
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Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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has 81.62 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: IT
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
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has 59.34 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: IT, knock-knock
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: IT
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
Only 3 things that are infinite 1.Human Stupidity 2.Universe 3.WinRar Trial
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.54 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex