Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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