Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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