Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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Chuck norris can control chaos.
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