Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror.
He immediately changed to the Batman
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
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Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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