What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.
Is your goalmouth open? High five!
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy." Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there. The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
What do golfers use in China? China tees!