What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream?
Aston Vanilla.
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Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
What's a bee's favourite sport?
Rugbee.
What did the trampolinist say?
‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’
Tennis
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."