Joke #4116

What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.
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Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.
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A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there. The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis. From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says: A can’t do this anymore! I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...
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Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
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Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils. One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Julia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was. Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion. Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?' 'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
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Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour
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Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
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Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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