What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream?
Aston Vanilla.
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Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film?
They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell.
Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you.
You may choose "heaven" or "hell".
Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table.
Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling.
So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell!
Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire.
So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex?
The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
Four men were stranded in a desert.
Suddenly, 1 of them died.
The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver."
The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest."
The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"
Why are black people so good at Basketball?
Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green?
Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
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