What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time.
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game? A:They stay in front of some fans!
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?" "No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?" "I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Q: What do you call two Asians playing basketball? A: Ping-Pong
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing. To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund