When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Kids dream about having superpowers.
Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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