When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Time travel is possible.
But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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