When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris is an action verb.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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He opens the door then turns the handle.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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