When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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