Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
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In the game 'Spore', The Grox are a result of Chuck Norris being allowed to create a species, but they had to be weakened to make the game possible.
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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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