Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
CNN tells about every disaster around the world. CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.