Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
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Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat.
Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears.
After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him.
Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing.
"Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom.
"Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry.
Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear.
The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?"
The baby bear replied, "No he beats me."
The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear!
The baby bear said, "No she beats me too."
The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"
The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"