Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
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Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
The wife of a boxer wakes up because of the sounds that come from the dining room.
She wakes her husband up:
Rocky, I think someone wants a particular boxing lesson...
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Vote:
What's a mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross country.
The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods.
Swimming
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas.
One of the men on that trip won $100,000.
He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home - arriving back 3 a.m.
He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it.
The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole.
He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute.
On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man.
Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house.
"You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my $100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor.
The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree."
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you.
He said he'd rather die first."
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?