Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up.
What's wrong with me?"
Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Two guys are out hunting deer...
The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky."
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind?
There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!"
"Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice.
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
This time pointing behind them.
By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"