Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
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Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report.
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!"
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said.
"This is positively the last deal."
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!"
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"
What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport?
Pool.
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders.
The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy.
Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman?
She is no bigger than your hand."
"That's right, Coach," replied the lineman.
"But, she's much better!"
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic?
A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.