Joke #4322

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
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Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
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A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
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Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
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Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade four.
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Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
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A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts." The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
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Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.
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What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg? Nothing, they’ve never met!
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Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?  A: An IN-body experience!
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A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, "What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: "I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?" The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
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