How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade four.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts." The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg? Nothing, they’ve never met!
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment? A: An IN-body experience!
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, "What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: "I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?" The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"