Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man.
He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?"
A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."
"And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching."
"No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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