Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.