Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Chuck Norris decided 50 years of Micheal Jackson was enough
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Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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