Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.