Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris can stop the music.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
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