Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.