Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Note to self: Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.