Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Chuck Norris dosen't get lost...
Everything around him is in the wrong place!
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If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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