When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.