When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.