When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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