James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.