James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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