James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
The largest unit of digital information is called Chuckbyte.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.