Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris broke the law once.
It still isn’t fixed.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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