Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets.
He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
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Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Of course you would.
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