Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London.
Then they wrote a song about it.
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
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