Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris once made a crippled man run away.
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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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