Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
There was no Big Bang. Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.
Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.