How does a blonde answer the question, ‘Are you sexually active?’
‘No, I just lie there.’
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Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree?
A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist?
A: Someone dented her car.
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp.
After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for.
So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars.
"Every blonde in the world will get two million."
The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man.
Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men.
The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes.
"Now for your third wish." said the genie.
"See that stick over there?", asked the brunette,
"I want you to beat me half to death with it."
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde.
The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store.
"Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks.
The brunet hid in one that said CAT.
The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS.
When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other.
The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!".
So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!".
So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it.
The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"