How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun? A computer that won’t go down.
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer. They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down. The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution. Suddenly the programmer says: "I say we better FORMAT it!"
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.