Joke #4759

The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
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How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
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Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
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My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
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Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
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What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
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