The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.