Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.. I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC? Of course I do - it's Facebook...
A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years. And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.
Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.