Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"
We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial. She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"