How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents.
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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad cow disease?"
The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.