How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents.
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Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo.
Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny.
Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that!
Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
Q: What do you call a naked deer?
A: Buck naked!
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25."
Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen.
In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?"
"Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger.
"How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny.
"That could be an interesting topic.But let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass.
The same stuff.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger.
"I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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