Joke #10589

How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.

A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!

What looks like half a cat? The other half.

What US state has the most cows? Moosouri.

Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"

Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.