Joke #4943

Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life

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A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
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Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
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Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
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What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
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Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
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Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
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Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
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