Joke #4943

Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
Vote:
has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."
Vote:
has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: life
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Vote:
has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!" "Why?" "Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, love
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Vote:
has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, life, wife
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
Vote:
has 69.79 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, money
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "Well, do you have any dates?" And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"
Vote:
has 73.60 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dating, life
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
Vote:
has 71.23 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. “Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says ” You and your brother.” Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.” Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?” The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?” The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
Vote:
has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life, men
What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life