Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."