Joke #3027

Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"

Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.

A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!

Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.

You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.

There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.

Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"

Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...