A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.