The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!