Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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