Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.