Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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