Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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