Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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