Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
Note to self: Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.