Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Aliens DO indeed exist.
They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance.
He breaks dance
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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