Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.