Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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There was no Big Bang.
Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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