Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris...
Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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